Your ego is a tricky beast.
You struggle for years to reach that magical milestone of ego death. Then, conversely and magically, you receive ego death as a gift of grace.
You think the struggle with ego has been won.
You think (and are told) that now you can see reality. Now you’re finally qualified to teach others meditation.
And you can experience reality. And you do guide others successfully.
And then… EGO resurrects itself in another sneaky form.
And you destroy ego again…and again… and again…
Let’s examine ego a little. What is Ego? Where is ego? What feeds ego? What resurrects ego? And, most importantly, what destroys ego?
What is ego?
Ego is I.
The sense and feeling of I automatically brings separateness. I creates a gulf between you and others.
You think and act in terms of “me” and “them”. You start creating self-isolating barriers to keep out any pain “others” may cause “I”.
Discriminating, judgmental thoughts like the following are constantly present in your ego driven mind because pain avoidance and pleasure seeking are all of existence for ego.
I want or I don’t want… I like or I don’t like… I am or I am not…
Your ego-based mind stream is constantly judging every experience in terms of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.
This is why many realized people forsake the use of I and use we. Using I is very limiting. I confines you to your ego.
“We” encompasses all of “you”, which in reality is the universe and all beings in it. “We” brings oneness, community, sharing.
“We” also refers to the totality of the realized individual who experiences herself as a complete being living simultaneously in her physical-emotional-energetic-spiritual beingness.
That beingness is strangely hollow and empty inside -the place Maharishi says is enlightenment.
So ego is living in your self-centered mindstream full of judgmental, discriminating thought that creates emotional barriers between Ï” and “them.”
Ego death brings the ability to reside in that hollow emptiness where “Ï” and “them” no longer exist.
That’s enlightenment.
Where is ego?
Ego is your mind. It’s that stream of judgmental thoughts that create barriers between you and a full experience of reality. Reality is simply emptiness or the space of no thought.
You can easily find the barriers your ego has erected to protect you from pain but that actually keep out the Spiritual growth we all seek.
Just say I, I, I over and over to yourself.
Be aware of where that I is located.
If you feel/see it inside you, your thoughts have created emotional barriers inside yourself to protect you from pain.
If you see/feel it outside of you, you’re experiencing the wall or barrier in your aura that your ego has built up to separate you from others who might cause pain.
It doesn’t really matter where you discover the walls. What matters is experiencing ego as a barrier between you and the people and the world around you.
Once you can see/feel the barriers, you can go to work on dissolving them with compassionate Love.
Love then grows inside you, bringing the pleasure your ego is seeking.
What feeds ego?
Your thoughts feed your ego.
When your mind rests in the reality of emptiness, there can be no thoughts or ego.
When thoughts arise, ego is close behind -especially if: your thoughts:
- Contain I
- Compare one object to another object
- Judge
Here are two examples.
- The goodness in you hates the badness. You’re comparing and judging. Complete acceptance of either your goodness or your badness destroys ego
- Thoughts of peace, truth etc. brings inflated Spiritual ego as the thoughts of peace and truth obscure the actual experience of simply resting in the grace and emptiness that destroyed ego.
What resurrects ego
After your ego has died the first time your sneaky, persistent ego keeps coming back. It doesn’t give up and just stay dead, leaving you alone to live joyfully in light and love.
Oh no! Your struggle with ego goes on. And on. And on…
After grace has killed off your ego that first time, and you can rest peacefully in emptiness, your thoughts keep returning, taking over your mind as you get caught up in following those thoughts into stories.
Inevitably that old nemesis ”Ï”is back again.
I did this. I did that. I… I… I…
What destroys ego?
Meditation in Emptiness destroys ego.
But many of us can’t meditate in emptiness –at least not yet (not to worry; emptiness is coming for you).
Fortunately, Tibetan Buddhists have created a practice that anyone can do anywhere that destroys ego.
And this easy practice very quickly grows that pleasurable compassionate love inside you that we all need more of.
You can read about it in our next post.